35andtrying

Archive for September, 2010|Monthly archive page

Actions Speak Louder Than…

In Uncategorized on September 17, 2010 at 5:21 pm

One of the experiences on my road to not dating for awhile came in an unexpected package. A gorgeous tall Dominican with a quiet demeanor that loved the arts and film. A soft spoken guy with a seemingly sweet nature that actually I went on a total of four dates with (unheard of in these parts). I was already at my ‘I’m not entering into anything physical until I know he’s a keeper’ mentality, so no hanky panky had occured thus far in our encounters with eachother. Said fourth date was arranged upon his suggestion that we stay in, order take-out and watch a film he was dying for me to see. Quietly suspicious of the ‘stay in’ suggestion I decided to quiet my inner cynic and go with it.

The evening was great actually. We had what was becoming our regular banter about film and philosophy, ate our chinese delivery and then finally settled in to watch the film. All was well… until I left him alone to use the bathroom… Now never in my life has that be the lead in to disaster striking. I leave a guy alone for a few minutes, which turns out to be ample time for him to get completely naked and lay starfish on my bed ready for …what? I know I know the answer and without painting more of a picture, I am very confident you do too. Well, I have always been a big believer of actions speaking louder than words SO… his nakedness and my lack of action made words unneccessary. Who knew sitting fully clothed quietly could make a man get dressed so quickly. Dating streak? Complete.

The Sex Change

In Uncategorized on September 17, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Well it finally happened. FORTY SIX dates later I have officially become a man.

Dating in New York as previously voiced is an entirely different creature, many if not most don’t want a relationship they just want to date. What I mean by this is to go on A date… or maybe two. More might transpire if the sex is good and no one becomes too needy (I don’t believe that is called dating though, is it?). I am not alone in this prognosis, The New York Times has written an article on this anomoly and I have talked to enough women, and god knows enough men to know my theory has basis. Now whether or not the end result of this merry go round is becoming more manlike in your dating tendecies I don’t know, but for me, this was most definitely the case.

What I can surmise is that I have become numb and well, bored. Dating became less about making a connection with someone with the possibility of a future filled with… a future, and more about well, that was fun, now what’s next? That’s the New York attitude when it comes to dating… the next best thing. The funny thing is that dating that much is EXHAUSTING! I don’t know how guys do it!! Great, I now have a wierd appreciation for bad behavior (*sigh).

The result of this was… no result, and now I have literally and metaphorically thrown in the towel. I need a date break, I just feel badly for the last handful of guys I dated. My body was present, but my soul? Not so much. I think I am going to take this time to reconnect with my womanhoood and shelve the man, because I love sex, but I don’t want to have to change for it.

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