The Grocery Man Cometh

A funny thing happened to me the other day while on my way to meet a date for dinner…I was asked out on a date… by another man… who was not my date… on the street. The men in this city have some serious cajones, it’s a bit awe inspiring.

I literally was walking down the street to meet my date at a local restaurant and some guy coming out of a grocery store attempts to pick me up (figuritively not literally, in this town you never know). Now I know people talk about making romantic connections over the oranges, but really? This man had already purchased his produce. There was no exchange of flirtatious glances over apples, he just saw me as he exited the store and went for the kill. Now don’t get me wrong, he was C-U-T-E and oddly smelled fabulous (who wears cologne to shop for groceries? The quiet cynic in me thinks loudly…WARNING… and you ask THIS is what she’s worried about?), but do people do this? Pick up complete strangers on the street? The differences between Canadians and Americans is quickly becoming glaringly more apparent.

A short, heavily loaded walk later (him with his groceries, mine with my thoughts) I arrive where I am meeting my date and quickly come to realize that if grocery man doesn’t leave soon, I am going to have some explainin’ to do! Visual… do you need one? Really? I am sure your imagination will suffice.

Dialogue:

Date- ‘Hi’

Me- deep breath* and then enthusiastic, “Hi!’

Date-(looking at grocery man) ‘Hi?’

Insert awkward silence and desire for someone to save me…

Thankfully grocery man left before the date cometh, and I was left thinking… what just happened?

It Adds Up

With dating debacles and really just plain boorish behavior abounding , it emotionally begins to add up. How many bad dating experiences can one woman take before you say, ‘ENOUGH!’ I think most people just want to find their plus one, but sadly this online experience has added up to a lot of minuses.

I recently had a friend share a minus man experience even after she had left the world of online dating (there’s adding insult to injury). Talk about putting a period on the end of that sentence. Said online Romeo became virtually enamored with my friend while she was away travelling. He was so taken with her that he called her daily while she travelled the globe, spouting his theories on relationships and how the importance of communication and respect were key in a successful one. This continued for three weeks. Now let’s pause momentarily and take a look at how this is all adding up… A+ right?  Being pursued, distance not being an issue, soul sharing, discussions of relationships, exciting plans to meet upon her return. How can anyone, male or female not be optimistic about the potential of this equation? Right? Universally the math makes sense.

Wrong (maybe this is why I felt the need to take Math 30 over again). The fated couple did meet, and had a great date. You know the ones that start with let’s just meet for drinks, and then turn into dinner, and then you close the place, and then finally it ends with a great kiss. Yeah, he’s into you. Unfortunately the equation started to sour shortly thereafter with a a drastic division in phone calls that multiplied into random texts and eventually had my friend throwing in her pencil on figuring it all out.

THREE WEEKS later, after not hearing a thing from this man she receives this text… ‘Wow, you were expensive!!’ SAY WHAT?!!! You do the math, three weeks of attentive behavior+ three weeks of bad equals…. more bad behavior? I must have missed that class, because to me, all this adds up to is BAD.